I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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