Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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