And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
