he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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