dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
