Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
