I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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