At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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