I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
