I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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