Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
