is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
