We need to rekindle our bromance
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
