margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
