But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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