thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
