Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
