Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
