remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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