physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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