Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
