I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
