the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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