Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
