u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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