actually, I'm a sock model
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
