well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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