what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
