you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
