Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
