if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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