Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
