I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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