she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
