I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
