Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
