I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
