bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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