so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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