He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
