am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he puts the penis in happiness.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
