38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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