umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
