you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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