so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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