So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
