haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
