just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
they need to just BURY HIM!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
