Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
