super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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